Make It Stop: “I Can’t Stop Being Jealous Of My Boyfriend’s Ex”

My boyfriend, Sven (not his real name), and I have been together for about seven months. And while he’s incredible, there’s just one thing that makes me uncomfortable. My BF is very close with his ex-girlfriend Veronica (not her real name either). They hang out with each other one-on-one, share a circle of friends and common interests, they dated through college and even lived together.

I like this girl, and I want to be capable of forming a friendship with her, for both my boyfriend’s happiness and my own peace of mind. But every time I am put in a social situation with her, I freeze up, internally panic, and start comparing myself to her. Veronica is pretty, funny, and I can totally envision her and my boyfriend as having been/being a couple. I think she picks up on this vibe, which I find completely mortifying.

Early on in the relationship, in an effort to be honest, I told Sven about my apprehensions, but that I did not expect or want him to change his friendship with her. But this did not alleviate my discomfort as I hoped it would.

I trust my boyfriend, I even admire his ability to remain friends with an ex, but what can I do about this unwanted jealousy?make-it-stop-jealousy-600x450

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