Dating is tough—for both sides. But let’s be clear
about something: Both sides have to work at it.
With that, we present the ten things women
should not do on first dates.
1. Don’t assume we like you just because you are a girl
Sure, we asked you out, and that means we probably like
you, but don’t act all entitled and special. If we’re on a
first date, your untouchable attitude can change things
and we could end up not that into you anymore.
Look, you have to try, too. Don’t just assume that
because you’ve got the goods that we dig you. There are
other fish, and we know it. And here’s the thing: When
you act super special, you send the message that this is
how you’re always going to be. Relationships—good
ones—involve some give and take. So, on this first date,
give a little.
2. Don’t show up straight from yoga class
Your fit lifestyle is great. Yoga pants are hot. But don’t
show up straight from your class. It signals that you
didn’t prioritize this date enough to make the time to
Plus, you might stink (girls stink sometimes too!).
3. Don’t lie in your online dating profile—about weight,
age, height, relationship status, etc.
Exaggerating your stats is forgivable, but straight-up lies
are not. If you’ve gained more than 10 pounds since that
profile picture, let us know ahead of time. If it’s from a
wedding 10 years ago, let us know that, too.
Those little lies add up. They tell us a lot about your
character and what’s to come.
And if you’re still in a relationship and didn’t tell us
ahead of time? Total dealbreaker.
4. Don’t bring your luggage
Life is hard for everyone—not just you. So when you sit
down and unload on us about your cantankerous boss
and ex who’s still booty-calling you, we’re looking for
an exit. Leave the emotional baggage in the trunk for the
first date. If things work out, there will be plenty of time
to unload, and we’ll be happy to help.
Look, we’re human, and humans
have sex. Stop acting like we’re
not on this date to suss out if we
want to do it (be it tonight or
sometime in the future).
5. Don’t just assume we’re paying.
Offer it up and we’ll
probably insist we pay.
Chivalry lives. Chances are we’re planning on paying
anyway, but that little gesture toward your purse allows
us to say, “No, I got this.” It makes us feel like a man
and it shows that you’re willing and able to pony up
when necessary. Gestures go a long way on a first date.
Plus, it allows you to get a sense of our character. If we
insist on paying, you know we’re willing and able. If we
let you pay, and that’s not your thing, you’ve just saved
yourself weeks, months, or years of annoyance.
6. Don’t give us the “I’m not that kind of girl” line.
if you say “I’m not having sex with you”, we know that
means you’re thinking about it.
Look, we’re human, and humans have sex. Stop acting
like we’re not on this date to suss out if we want to do
it (be it tonight or sometime in the future).
Flirting is an essential part of dating, including first
dates. It allows us to see your sexy side while
measuring your limits. After some quality flirting, we
have a good idea of what you’re going to be like under
the sheets, and without that information, our date is
If we ask you home that night, don’t act offended. It just
means we like you and want to, uh, see more of you.
Take it as a compliment and handle the turndown (if
that’s your plan) without assaulting our character or
saying that you’re “not that type of girl.” Everyone is
“that type”—again, we all do it. A simple “not tonight” is
sufficient. We’ll back off (and if we don’t, you’ve
learned something really important about us). If we like
you, we’ll try again next time.
7. Don’t harsh on the venue choice. If we go out again,
you can pick the next place and that could come back to
Chances are we chose a place that puts us in our
comfort zone, gives us a slight environmental
advantage, and that we thought you might dig since we
do. It tells you something about us, and if you say
something awful about it, you’re insulting us. We’re
sensitive creatures, you know!
If it’s an absolutely horrible place, save that info and
remember it before you go out with us again. No need to
insult our taste. We’d rather hang with someone who’s
down with our vibe, anyway.
If, however, you like us more than the place, simply drop
a “Where to next?” That way, you get out of the place
while signaling to us that you want to continue.
8. Don’t compare us (out loud) to your ex or that guy
you went out with last night
As they say, never discuss exes or politics on a first
date. On the politics thing, we think that’s fair territory
since those issues will come up later on down the line,
and it’s always best to vent those things up front.
As for your exes, though: No. Not only is it a huge
downer, it also signals that you’re not really ready to
date. Even worse, if you bring up tons of recent dates
with different people, it could signal to us that you’re
fickle with dating. In short, nothing good will come of
this, even if you think you’re complimenting us via
positive comparison. Our minds will be on the other
dude, not on the compliment.
9. Don’t wait to tell us you have kids
Kids are cool. We like kids. We’d love to know if you
have them before you show up, though. Not doing so is
deceptive and dishonest.
10. Don’t get wasted (unless we are too, then it’s game
Being drunk can be fun, and it can be a great romantic
lubricant. But a first date is meant for introduction and
exploration. A couple drinks are great, but if you start
acting like a sorority girl on Spring Break, we’re going to
file you away as just that. Class it up a little. There’s
plenty of time for drunken romps in the future (assuming
the first date works out).