TIPS ON HOW TO TRUST YOUR BOYFRIEND

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Trust is a key element in having a strong and lasting
relationship with your boyfriend. Without trust, your
relationship will slowly fall apart, as Frank Crane once
made clear when he said that while “you may be
deceived if you trust too much, you will live in torment
if you do not trust enough.”

How do you regain trust that has slipped away
because of little things that niggle you or cause you to
feel he isn’t as responsive or attentive as perhaps he
ought to be? In this article, you’ll have the chance to
explore the ways in which you can learn to trust your
boyfriend and move into another stage of your
relationship.

Acknowledge why you don’t trust your
boyfriend. There can be a number of reasons,
from not hearing from him, lack of contact, or
something someone else said. Your own instinct
tends to add its overlay of worry too, adding up
things that may or may not be important. Some of
the reasons why your trust may be tested include:

You have been privy to a recent revelation
about him that casts suspicions on his
trustworthiness

You have had an argument with him and it not
only left you feeling sour but left many
questions unanswered

You feel that he has betrayed your trust in him
by something that he has done, said, or
openly acknowledged to you
You feel that he is slipping away – he calls

you less, he’s not coming around to see you
much, or he seems to be seeing other people
without asking you along too
You have some other reason for not trusting
him.

Take it slowly and calm yourself down.
Paranoia over the fact that you don’t trust him
will can cause you to deepen your mistrust rather
than to want to seek some valid answers.
Whatever
has happened to set off your suspicions, it’s more
than likely that you don’t have the full story or
perhaps you’re not even seeing all the relevant
events properly. Before you discard all trust,
it is
important to do some thinking, questioning, and
following up, to get the story straight. Focus on
what is at stake and the importance of the
relationship, no matter how hard it may seem and
no matter how tempting it is to prefer assuming a
negative viewpoint of him.

Think about your past relationships . Have they
ended in heartbreak, mistrust, and anger? If
so, you may be primed to be suspicious about a
subsequent boyfriend’s motives. Having someone
betray your trust hurts, and can carry on into your
next relationship. If this is the case, talk to your
boyfriend about your past relationship (or
relationships) and tell him what happened and why
it hurt you. Not only will doing this increase your
trust in him, he will be able to understand what
lies behind your paranoia . Depending on the type
of guy he is, he may even be able to help you work
through the challenge.
If you’re stuck in an emotional situation where
you don’t feel that you’re able to move past
the hurt, this can be a good time to speak
with a therapist or counselor in order to mend
the wounds of any past relationship that
might have caused you to feel paranoid or
anxious about current relationships.
Talk to him about why you don’t trust him.
Use tact, but be honest with him. Guys prefer
blatant honesty to constantly avoiding,
embellishing, or twisting the subject. If you talk to
him about it, not only will it make you feel better,
but his trust in you will be likely to increase
because he’ll feel that, even though you don’t trust
him, you had the courage to come out and talk to
him about it anyway. Whatever his response, your
courage in speaking so clearly makes you a very
good and honest person.

Go the extra mile to increase his trust in you.
Be honest, caring, understanding, and
trustworthy yourself, before asking someone to do
the same. Don’t gossip about him and don’t be
condescending or negative about him to other
people; it will get back to him and will only make
things harder for you to fix. Open up a little more
yourself; this is especially important if you’ve been
keeping your concerns and most intimate self from
him.

Keep the line of communication open, and let
him know what is going on in your life. You
don’t have to tell him about every time that
you stub your toe, or what you ate for
breakfast yesterday, but do tell him things.

Tell him things that are important and might
be important to him.
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