Maybe you have seen a girl around, and you have been
dreaming of just going up and talking to her. However,
approaching someone for the first time is nerve-
wracking in most instances; add your new crush into
the mix, and you might be a bumbling mess.
Sometimes, though, the result is infinitely worth the
Talking to Her the First Time
Make eye contact. Spend a few days catching
her gaze every now and then. Don’t just stare
at her, though; instead, shoot her small glances
until your eyes meet and she catches you. When
she does, smile slightly and look away after a
second. You’ll probably blush as well, which is all
the better – blushing indicates you’re nervous,
which is a hint that you like her.
Time it right. When you do talk to her, pick a
time that’s convenient. Don’t try to get her
attention when she’s obviously involved in
something else, and try to have a bit of privacy –
you don’t have to be completely alone, but her
attention shouldn’t be too distracted.
Make the interaction extra casual (and put a
time limit on it) by talking to her while you’re
both walking somewhere else. If you walk to a
class at the same time as her, or you start
walking the same way home, this is a great
Start with a compliment. Paying a girl the right
compliment makes your intentions clear right
away – she’ll know instantly that you’re interested
in being more than her friend. Here are some things
Know how to deliver a compliment. Even the
best compliment in the world will fall flat if
your delivery is off. Keep a half smile as you
talk – it will make you naturally add appealing
inflection to your voice. (Try this trick out
when you answer the phone sometime and
see if you notice a difference.) Maintain eye
contact with her, and keep the tones of your
voice up, but lower the actual volume –
speaking softly immediately communicates
intimacy, and it can make her instinctively
lean in closer to hear you. If this all sounds a
bit difficult, practice it in front of a mirror first.
Keep the conversation moving. You might be
tempted to stop talking and just stare at this
girl, but don’t let your nerves get the best of you.
Allowing a long lull in the conversation will make
things feel awkward.
Instead, have a mental list of backup
questions you can use if you stumble on an
Ask about what she thinks of a shared
homework assignment or an upcoming event.
Asking for her opinion communicates that you
care about what she thinks, and see her as
more than just an object.
Use the conversation to find out more about
her, but be subtle. For instance, if you want to
find out if she already has a boyfriend, you
could casually ask, “So, anything fun planned
with your boyfriend for the weekend?” If she
doesn’t have one and she’s interested in you,
she’ll let you know immediately.
Make her laugh (optional). If you’re sure
you’ve got a joke she’ll appreciate, give it a
shot. The goal is to show her you have an
engaging sense of humor, but you don’t want to
come off as desperate or cheesy.
If possible, crack a joke about the current
situation or something you both saw happen.
Situational humor is more meaningful than a
joke you read online.
Close the conversation early. Follow that old
saying – “Always leave them wanting more.”
Find a way to gracefully duck out of the
conversation before it goes stale. Good luck!
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